Crange & the Werewolf

Synopsis
Crange has an encounter with a werewolf late one night, and decides whether or not this would be a good option for him. He also takes into consideration werewolf dicks. Like,almost constantly. It began on the 1st of February and ended on the 15th. It is the 3rd story of 2016, but the 18th overall.

Plot
This arc starts off with an ominous speech from an unnamed, but very Scottish bartender. He's a mustached rock-man who tells Crange about the nature of the werewolves and how they thirst for blood. Crange points out that the man had just told him that the bar was closing soon, then just started giving him this warning of imminent death. The bartender answers back that yes, he did. Crange starts to ask if he can- but the bartender just cuts him off. So it begins.

We cut to Crange, now fully kicked out of the bar (which is incredibly named The Diseased Ass) and yelling at the door before getting discouraged and stomping off. Inside the Diseased Ass, we see the bartender cleaning up before hearing someone come in through the bathroom window. He initially thinks it's Crange and goes on over to give him an earful before having his guts ripped out by a huge,clawed hand. We go back to Crange again, angrily talking aloud about how fucked up it is to force people into being werewolves. Behind the Diseased Ass, we see the remains of the bartender being flushed down a well by a hooded, hairy figure with one huge arm.

Crange, still immensely fixated on the prospect of being turned into a werewolf, is now drawing out flowcharts in the dirt of what he imagines being a werewolf must be like. He seems to be seriously considering it as a career option and draws out an idea he has about what having a werewolf dick must be like. Crange blushes and quickly starts erasing it. As he does that, we see the hooded figure creep up behind him, having an inner monologue about the push and pull of the oceans and how they can feel the moons influence. Meanwhile, Crange is writing up a pros and cons list of what being a werewolf would entail in his head and again, his fixation on werewolf dicks shines through. Seeing this, the hooded figure feels a little awkward and coughs. Crange hurriedly wipes away the entire list, except for the words "weird dick" proudly displayed under him and quickly talks up the werewolf,expressing that he's totally fine with being a werewolf! The hooded figure pulls it back and unveils what looks like a pretty regular looking green bug girl, with messy spiky hair and 3 scars. She says that the mood she had set out for tonight was sort of ruined after all, so turning someone could make it not a total waste. She tells him to follow

her, bestowing him with the nickname "weird dick" and Crange finally notices the writing under him.

The werewolf lady walks, and Crange sort of just trails along, asking her what's with her massive werewolf arm. The werewolf explains that it's just because of the fog, which makes it harder for moonlight to come shining through when you're as small as they are. She explains that it's why she was mostly putting up a "hooded wanderer" persona tonight, instead of full blown wolfing. Crange compliments her about it while sitting on her huge,dragging arm. The two finally come to an area where she says the mood and moons presence is good and tells Crange to kneel. Crange asks if it was like this for her when she was turned and we are shown a neon flashback where the werewolf lady is scooped up in a huge handful of dirt and chewed up by a wolf. She says no,no it wasn't. Crange kneels before her, ever nervous as our werewolf starts goin FULL WOLF, mutating huge teeth and a much larger,furrier head. She is just about to bite him with her ginormous fangs and Crange.... wimps out. Saying quickly that he's totally changed his mind and would much rather just leave. He tries to do just that and almost gets hit by a massive (normal-sized) truck. The werewolf tells him that he can't just leave this and Crange says that he totally is now that he knows they're in the middle of a busy human road! He runs off and the werewolf jumps over him, blocking his way and telling him that the night will not be wasted. Crange scrunches up and turns the other way,leaving again before they both run into the wolf that turned our bug lady.

Though the wolf is much more disheveled now,patches of hair missing and veins popping out, our werewolf recognizes it immediately as the wolf that turned her. Crange,however, is totally distracted by the wolfs dick . Enraged, the werewolf asks Crange what the hell his problem is, Crange starts to answer before she starts yelling for him to NOT. SAY. ITS. DICK. Crange immediately goes back to that train of thought, however. Our werewolf screams and tries to grab Crange, but at that moment the truck from earlier reappears, moving over both of them, but slamming right into the wolf.

Crange is huddled in a ball on the ground, but our werewolf examines herself, her arms now normal again. She gets excited and is immidiately overjoyed that she's seemingly been freed of the curse of having to be a werewolf. She eagerly tells Crange goodbye and half-heartedly almost apologize for trying to kill him, before deciding shes not really sorry and leaving. We end on the truck drivers who just hit the wolf looking at the damage and pointing out its dick.